The Power of Forgiveness
“It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven.
Upon the place beneath.
It is twice blessed:
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”
Shakespeare
Imagine holding on to a rope with all your strength. No matter how hard it pulls away, you hold on tightly.
Soon, it starts to rub against your skin vigorously. It scratches your palm until it’s too painful to hold on. You want to hold on much longer, but finally, you let go.
The rope is your painful past, and the act of letting go is forgiveness. It seems like you are parting with something meaningful, while in reality, you are saving yourself a lot of pain.
Victorian playwright, medieval poets, and modern psychologists and scientists have all vouched for the power of Forgiveness. It is said to be a virtue of the kings and quality of the saints, the most divine human quality, and the most generous selfish act.
What to do when Forgiveness seems Impossible?
“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past.
A healed Memory is not a deleted memory.
Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a
new way to remember.
We change the memory of our past
into a hope for our future.”
Louis B. Smedes
Many times people hurt us in cruel ways and we are unable to forget these moments. At times things go out of hand and those memories become traumatic hindering our positive growth and we are unable to let of the things that we are holding on to so tight. This is when life coach guides us to gradually let go off the things that once hurt us or betrayed us.
Clenching on to things from past won’t do us any good. While we are aware of this truism, it is not until we receive proper guidance we can take the required action so we make our present as well as future better. The key to leading a wholesome life is in realizing that forgiveness gives you enormous power, not over other people, but yourself. It gives you the power to pour like rain on dreary desert sands of emotional pain and the power to sift through layers of bitterness to find the hidden treasure of happiness.
Here is how you can tackle the most common dilemmas that come with forgiveness and allow yourself to turn into a force of positivity.
Tackling the Morality-Forgiveness Paradox
“Without forgiveness life is governed by… an endless
cycle of resentment and retaliation.”
Roberto Assagioli
The concept of forgiveness seems entirely alien when we are dealing with immoral or vicious acts. Forgiving someone who hurts people doesn’t just seem complicated, but unethical. But it is vital to understand that forgiveness is for the self, not for others.
Lastly, forgiveness is about liberating yourself from the self-made duty of acquiring righteousness. It’s important to realize that letting go of something toxic is much healthier than holding on.
How to Forgive Others?
Many times people hurt us without even realizing they are hurting us. Whether they are promise-breaking politicians or partial bosses, being wronged by these people fills us with rage and indignation.
Ongoing anger is a block to many for moving forward and living a truly enjoyable life. A person can get stuck in the past.
As anger is a reflection of higher elevations of Stress Hormones and sustained levels of them will also make a person sick.
And the only way a person can get rid of these negative feelings is by forgiving and let go.
The biggest question is HOW?
As human beings we always carry Anger. We are not going to get rid of it. It is a survival reaction. I will guide you how to feel and acknowledge the depth of your anger before you can let go. This forgiveness process you can use daily and this will change the quality of thoughts and reactions to situations.
It is critical to become aware of and let go of your deepest wounds to start with. The process will become easier to forgive smaller wrongs and you can find your life in complete transformation once you master this virtue.
The last step of forgiveness process is showing deep compassion for the person or situation that hurt you. You might be thinking at this moment, “Its not Possible” — but do you really want Anger and Resentment to control the quality of your life and thoughts to a person that hurt you, while they moved on and enjoying their life. Once you master, Compassion , this powerful virtue will change your brain from being in a painful and victim mode , to create a powerful chemical which will create a positive environment in your body cells.
How to Forgive Yourself?
The most challenging part of forgiveness is, we have to practice it on ourself more than anyone else. People have a habit of beating themselves up for their failures. What they don’t realize is that they cannot grow until they can accept and let go.
In life coaching I will guide you how to Retain what you have learned positive from the event and release all the negative emotions and experiences.
When we do something “wrong,” it gets registered in our subconscious. For Example, an injury to someone else might be accompanied by a guilt feeling. This experience will have sadness attached to it. When we’ve done something we regret, we often connect it to a limiting belief like, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll never be able to succeed.”
If we try to forgive ourselves for something without releasing the underlying emotion or belief we’ve attached to it, the forgiveness will never happen we will keep on having triggers. No matter how hard you try to forgive, you continue to beat yourself up for whatever happened—because the event is stored in the subconscious.
What can you do about that?
I will guide you through a process to identify the limiting belief or negative emotion that is attached to what you’re trying to forgive yourself for. Release that first instance where the event took place, using a process like time line technique or TethaHealing and you’ll find that forgiving yourself is not that difficult. When similar events take place you will not feel triggered.
I will also guide you through a very powerful forgiveness exercise, that you can use to release all resentment, fear, and guilt from experiences, and traumas.
